The last blog I wrote was on the 21st of November 2019. In fact that was the last ‘anything’ that I wrote. It was roughly six weeks ago and, GOOD LORD, a lot has happened since then!
Today is the last day of the year, and of the decade, so it seems appropriate that I finally have something new to say. Something I think is of value.
Yes, over the past six weeks there have been multiple ideas swirling around my mind.
Thoughts of “nice” little blogs; click bait.
There was: ‘How to travel like a minimalist’; ‘What I’ve learnt from 11 moves in 8 years’; ‘The truth about the climate “crisis”’; ‘Why do we take our religious freedom for granted in SA?’; and so on.
I was bored just thinking of them. I never wanted Mothers’ Nature to be a conventional project (shocker)... Writing schedules and posts per day and followers and paid ads. I just wanted to share some part of myself with other like-minded woman (and men?).
Then, last night, I was “screen-shotting” pictures of Adele’s new physique, for my mom-tribe WhatsApp group, and it happened.
Side bar: For those who don’t know, the singer, Adele, posted to Instagram of her much smaller self, with Santa and The Grinch respectively, and the internet lost its mind. She really is unrecognisable. People were praising her weight loss and shaming the weight loss praisers and praising the shamers and OMG it’s a jungle.
I, on the other hand, went back and scrolled through older posts. All I could think of was how magnificent Adele was. I always loved what she looked like and how she carried herself and, obviously, how she sang.
‘Someone like you’ broke my heart into a million pieces. I think it did the same for anyone who’s ever heard it. Four years later ‘Hello’ took me back there all over again.
I started YouTubing live performances. And it hit me:
I want to do ANYTHING as well as Adele makes music.
I used to think that that thing would be mothering, homemaking... “womaning”.
But it’s not. Being a woman is not what I do, it’s who I am. My Rebbetzin and Friend recently told me: “mothers mother”. That’s what they do.
I agree. Woman cannot help themselves. They give and they give and they give. That’s what we do.
So then what is that one thing? My thing.
What can I do the way Adele makes music? What can I do, so uniquely, so authentically, so beautifully that it breaks peoples’ hearts wide open and makes them feel something? Something new, something real, something universal.
I can put things into words. I can write. I have the "Gift of Gab", as it were.
I always joke that no one has ever accused me of having nothing to say; but it’s true. And I think, for the most part, I speak the truth – or at least what I know to be true. If I don’t know what’s true I will work tirelessly to find the closets version of that. And people find it refreshing.
I’m a terrible liar and I have no filter but it means that you can always trust what I have to say (or write).
I’m so insanely relieved I can answer this question for myself. I don't think I could have one year ago. I certainly could not have answered it one decade ago.
It really is a terrifying one.