A few weeks, or maybe now it’s even a few months, ago I wrote that ‘home is not a house but a feeling’ and that these are the sentiments I'm trying to keep in mind.
We pretty much fled the coop about nine weeks ago. From: viewing a rental on a Friday afternoon, to signing the lease on Sunday Morning; hiring movers, packing, and then actually moving, effectively, three days later… We've now been in a new space for that amount of time.
Something I was so worried about was losing the magical energy of the EcoPod.
Outside the, quite literally, four walls of our pod there was what one might call rampant family dynamics but within our cosy home there really was a beautiful feeling of Zen. There wasn’t a single person who came to visit me for a pop in, or a cup of tea, or an entire Shabbos meal, who didn't say ‘gard I love the energy in here’. People whom I know to be very tense or ADHD have literally fallen asleep on my couch in the EcoPod.
So when we moved I was worried about losing that. Naturally.
But then a friend whom I love and trust came to visit me in my new house. A house I’ve called a McMansion. But really, it’s just an ordinary house where I live with my family like a normal person. One of the first things she said was: “I can't believe that this still has your energy, this still feels like you. There are still elements of the EcoPod here”.
I didn't really take much notice of what she had said at the time because I was busy making coffee and speaking on the phone and knitting a proverbial sweater simultaneously..
But then, purely by coincidence, I landed up going back to the EcoPod that very afternoon to fetch a few things and, the energy was gone. There wasn't good energy or bad energy or negative or positive; it was just empty. Just physically and emotionally empty.
And then I realised that I was the EcoPod. I was the energy that people were feeling.
When friends come to be around me, they’re coming to be around my energy; in just the same way that when I invite someone to visit I want to be around them and around their particular and unique energy. I don't need to sit in their car or sit on their couch or eat in their kitchen to experience their energy and frequency; and the same is true of me.
Even though we left the EcoPod because of everything except for physical space (many people have made the assumption that we left because the actual house was too small) the energy of the space had nothing to do with space at all.
The energy was me and my husband and my children and the life we work to create together every single moment of every single day. So, no I do not miss the EcoPod; because there's nothing to miss. The EcoPod is within me - the energy and the values and the ideals that I tried to create (and that unfortunately became toxic) live freely within me wherever I go.
We’re just four normal people trying to live our best lives in the exact same way that every other person on this earth is trying to do.
