Updated: Nov 24, 2019
This is a post about guilt.
If there’s anything I’ve learnt it’s that a woman lives with feelings of guilt.
I’m pretty sure when reduced these are caused by one simple question: “Am I Enough?”.
Recently I’ve been feeling insecure about our co-sleeping status-quo. (For the record my husband and I co-sleep with our four year old son and two year old daughter in a ginormous family bed). Wondering if I should be actively encouraging my children to sleep alone, away from me.
Now, Setting the fact that my husband loves having our children in the bed with us aside, I thought I might be harming my children in some way by continuing to facilitate the family bed arrangement.
But then, google.
Turns out the average age that a child can, and will, sleep completely independently, the world over, is Eight. An eight year old is emotionally capable of spending the night alone. Years. Not weeks.
In a recent study conducted in the US (one of the countries which report the lowest incidence of co-sleeping) it was revealed that over 60% of families are actually co-sleeping even though only 15% report this practice.
This revealed that people are not against co-sleeping per sé, they are more than likely actually endorsing it by default, they are simply just embarrassed to “admit” it.
I too have experienced this societal shame and pressure. But I have also experienced the insane benefits of co-sleeping. From the time my son was a few months old, and I had tried all (and I really do mean ALL) of the available options and suggestions, it became clear that the only way to survive as a parent was to sleep with the baby.
So here is a picture of our family bed. The coziest place I know. The place my family and I drink in 8 to 12 glorious hours of sleep every night.