A few days ago I was just observing Judah. He was hanging out in the kitchen just being himself and he seemed so at ease. I sent a message to Jonathan (husband) to say that for the first time it seems like Judah feels “at home”.
I have a lot of guilt around this because he’s been dragged around with his lunatic parents, almost since birth, through all our various property exploits. But setting that to one side, I was so comforted.
And then I got to thinking.
Why is he more at home, here, in this ginormous rental, than he was living in our cozy EcoPod, a home we built brick-by-brick to cater to the exact and unique needs of our family - which just happened to be in the backyard of his beloved Bobba’s house?
I think he had FOMO.
My little four year old angel from HaShem was suffering with a pathological and chronic fear-of-missing-out.
Bobba’s house is so fun. There are no rules at Bobba’s house. The treats are better. The TV is on. It's everything a Bobba's house should be. And its right across the garden.
With that on the menu how could anyone just relax and be present with the “boring"? With the "healthy" snacks, and the TV off, and the rules...
So he was frantic - more than likely always constantly worrying himself with whether or not he could find a bigger better deal next door. I think it was driving him crazy.
But now there's no longer that option; he's so much calmer. He's not being mentally prodded by the idea that 'this is fine but MAYBE that is better?'.He's not obsessed with choices and variety and having more fun. He can just be.
And he is so much better for it. So much calmer for it. So much more of himself for it.
I can't believe the lessons I can learn from a four year old:
Switch off the options.
Be where you are.
Stop worrying what else is out there, available, and on offer, and just indulge in the moment.
Be present with what is right in front of you.
I usually say that anxiety in the modern day plague but maybe FOMO is.
Maybe they're the same thing.
Sidebar: One year ago my husband and I made the decision to sell our McMansion and build a "tinyhouse" on my in laws' property. Three weeks ago we moved out.